2008 is a decent year for movies but they still haven’t met my criteria for “Best Movie Year Ever”, so here are a few things I’d like to see in 2009.
10. Jackie Chan speaking understandable english
I would like to understand the words coming out of your mouth.
9. Eddie Murphy using profanity
Who wouldn’t want to hear Donkey tell Shrek he is acting like a little bitch?
8. Scott Baio: THE MOVIE
The automatic reaction to this picture is to slap yourself in the head and ask, “Why didn’t I think of that?”
7. All Midget Casts (Little People for you PC types)
As long as it’s not a romantic drama but especially if it’s a World War II movie.
6. Mike Myers not sucking
Cat in the Hat ruined his street cred, possibly forever
5. Will Ferrell not sucking
His internet videos are more popular than his latest movies.
4. Adam Sandler not sucking
A Mossad agent fakes his death so he can re-emerge in New York City as a hair stylist. It’s like he used a Madlib to come up with this idea.
3. Video game movies not directed by Uwe Boll
Here’s hoping for a Peter Jacksons’ Halo.
2. Actual celebrity nudity (no body doubles, damn you Jessica Alba)
I’m pretty sure there is something magical underneath those clothes.
1. Any movie that has monkeys riding things (i.e. motorcycles, midgets, dogs)
If a picture is worth a thousand words, think how much a whole movie is worth!
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